DANCING IN MEMORIES/HEARTBRAKE

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Boys . . .And your first heartbreak . . .Who was your first heartbreak? I have this feeling you will be WRONG! . . .Wanna bet?

CHANCES ARE YOU ARE WRONG LIKE I WAS.  This of course gave me a good chuckle. I found myself dancing in memories of who i ever thought i Loved. There were lots. But it seems i still have not found another. I am sure there is, i think when i was three-years of age. The little boy who lived across the way from the jail house down by the Grand Lake, where we played out on the big logs floating down or up river. We played near every day out in the sand close to where a bridge is being built to allow cars to cross over the water. We even climbed high up on stacked piles of long logs. One day he was gone! He is still gone to this day. If anybody came looking for me, they would find me  just standing looking over waiting for him to come out. Sure did miss this boy, wasted play time waiting for him!

I didn’t talk much back then, didn’t get much practice or no one talked to me, besides i was three. Dancing memories now show me i had  to learn how to ask, Where is the boy? [ I never knew his name ] but my heartbreak forced me to search out the words to ask, where i found  out he moved. And  now that we all know about this HEARTBRAKE at the age of three,  is my first heartbreak.  Not him or him or him or lol him and maybe even him?  And really who knows . . .Cause i though for all these years it was Shawn Bullock, until  i drifted away dancing through memories determined to see if i could indeed answer correctly in naming my first heartbreak. It was that kid and not Shawn when i was 12. Oh yeah can’t forget Luc and Garry and i really really,   really understood that i really liked Nickolas, he was a different kind of boy, nice! He played outside  at the park with me and was not mean to me just because other kids made fun of me, i could feel he liked me to and when i had to move, i went to say good-by so he would know i was gone and not just disappeared like that boy, never coming back, never to see again until i dance through memories of heart-breaks to name number one. I’ll never know his name but i do know i returned 17-years later,  his house was gone.  And if anyone came to look for me they would have found me just standing, looking at all the emptiness  Dancing in memories of play,  pretty-Lady in apron calling in the day until a new dawn to run and play. That Boy with no name now has no face, just long curly locks of blonde hair, dancing memories, playing in the sand.

Oh yes . . .Then there was Phillip and Richard . . .Good grief, how many heart-breaks did i have? Or can i even call them heart-breaks? We were . . .I was a child growing-up trying to hold onto something, anything i could call my own so i guess i latch on . . .Oh brother . . .Am i one of those? You know . . .Those people. Lol  {I have no words for what i mean}, so While i dance in my memories of heart-breaks, you come up with a name these people  and myself might be. Wouldn’t surprise me if you name us ” the lost ones.” ,  dancing in memories of all heart-breaks standing the days away.

Picture 528

 

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