I quit smoking four days ago. Day one as i said was easy, i used a patch and chewed gum, candy and food. Day two i found i was eating myself out of house and home, it was not so bad as long as i went for walks. Day three i felt i could go the day without the patch, so that is what i did. I went the day without the patch, telling myself it is mind over matter, i reminded myself that a lot. Plus i am a coffee drinker, and i was having trouble with the taste of the coffee, i just could not get into it. But i went for plenty of walks, this helped a lot for some reason.

Today is day four and i had to put the patch on . . .The coffee still has a strange taste, tea is fine but i am a coffee drinker and it is hard to just stop both!  Today i am having trouble and asking myself why did i quit? And maybe i can just take the patch off and have one, smoke. But then i know i will get real dizzy and sick and almost die or something there like that. I am not stuffing my face as much today, all though i love food and wish we could eat non stop. I felt like garbage yesterday.

I have to defeat this tobacco obsession i can not let it control me. I have to win. I have to be strong. I must be my own boss.  And what i have to do next,  is waiting for me,  and i can hear it calling to me but i do not have the strength to do this yet. . .What is it you may ask?

I have to wash all my coats and bedding and things like walls. BOOOO Because i can smell this lingering tobacco on things even though i did not smoke in my home it is here and driving me nuts burning in the back of my nostrils and throat. Crap,  i am wondering what made me start smoking  in the first place.  But how is that going to help me now?  There is no excuse.  I can win.


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