What is wrong with some of us, we, the ones who lost all care for ourselves. How did we allow people to take what we are away from ourselves? Did we allow ourselves to slip away to please these people? And where are these people now, the ones who said we should be like them.
How can we be like something we are not? We can not, we are not them we are us. Can we remember us and get back there? You know, back to a time when we knew exactly who we were, up until that point when someone told you they do things different. so you have to. Is that where we started to let go of ourselves?
Why can we not stop pleasing these people and do unto ourselves? Do we remember who we once were? Have we forgotten the things we once did? Why can we not stop and just try a little to be who we were. Has it been that long that we couldn’t go back even if we wanted to? How can i change myself?
What it is, is the process getting back to ourselves, is a MASSIVE HUGE STEP !
And to get to that step we have to let go of [ALL ] the strings. NOT SOME< STRINGS< ALL STRINGS! THAT IS WHY THE FIRST STEP IS THE HARDEST
We have to cut all ties to be able to land on STEP ONE with a bounce. We have to bounce! We must bounce back up . . .As simple as that. And how hard is that? HARD.
Why is it hard? Just think of all the past things right up to the final cut that you have to delete from your life. You do know what delete is do you not, it means never to be seen again, gone! But the of course the memory will stay. But not to fear, this is easy to tuck down where it won’t bother you anymore, as this process takes time too, it depends on how strong you are with your will about finding yourself again. And hopefully this care about yourself will thing, is as strong as the one which keeps you in a state of illusions in the first place. WITHOUT WILL we do not eat, breath, drink any liquids, run to the store, go dancing, brush our teeth, climb mountains, paint for a living, jog, poop, pee, [ get the picture will, is every thing we do ]. Your will is your control but don’t ever forget . . .PEOPLE CAN AND DO HAVE CONTROL OF WILL’S OF OTHER’S. We let them some how or some place in our lives, use our own will against us. Is that because we are not of the strong-willed, minded? How do we get there? We have to want it like we want to go buy something to make us happy. We have to learn to say things like .
I will clean and wash everyday Who cares what i look like
I will take a dance class They don’t like me to dance
I will so wear that i like it they said i look silly so i won’t
I will change this the way i like it Damn i wish they would let me
If you are over the age of twenty-one you are called an adult, though twenty-one only puts you in your first yearhood of being an adult. . .Get the picture? You are just stepping out of teenage-hood . . .How adult-ish were you as a teenager? There is no possible way you are a full-blown adult at the age of twenty-one, what it is, is you are in your first year of learning all the responsiblities, of being, an adult. And this process, if , you choice to learn it, will take all twenty-nine of your first years and by the age of thirty, you should have learn what it takes to get through this life the way you feel fit. Life is not easy and you should not be told it is. Life is a working everyday system that you have to maintain for yourself, by yourself, and not let anyone run it for you, rather than it is their life we live.
We have choices everyday and we chose. We can choose to do right, wrong, good, evil, change, stay, go. It us, we ourselves, who make the final choice. But i am talking about people who have freedom outside of war zones and stuff like that, that is a whole different ball game there. So i can’t talk about there. But i can talk about finding ourselves again and how hard it can be and how simple it really is. CUT ALL STRINGS that hold you back from being who you once were. YES IT IS SCARY . . .But so is life you have to do all the right things or find yourself in the streets. You just have to figure what is most important? Your sanity or his/ her’s or her’s/his. What ever way you want to put it as long as you know it is there one of us has to come second. Question is who?
Should it be her, him or you. AND YES I KNOW WE CANNOT BE FIRST ALL THE TIME IT IS WRONG! But there has to be a happy medium or we will dwindle away further into ourselves and never come back.
I can tell you i do in fact know several people who hide inwards and they are a lone and not happy or they pretend it is the way they like it. I know all to well these people at one time, were active and great fun to be around until they allowed the wrong type of person to change them into something that other person prefered them to be, instead of taking proper time finding their own type in the first place or something there like that. People need to be who they each are in small step if you will, one day at a time until you feel you are who you thought you were and stand by it. I am a good . . .And i am going to . . .everyday, and no one is going to tell me not to. Like i said, i am talking about adults who have lost themselves.